Interview: Sokullu Mehmed Pasha

Today we'll be sitting down for an interview with Sokullu Mehmed Pasha, the grand vizier of the Ottoman Empire.

(The Pasha, a tall man with a dark beard wearing a white turban, leans back on some pillows. A page enters bringing two cups of hot Turkish coffee, one for me and one for him. The page serves me first, then the Pasha.)

Me: So, tell me something about yourself, Pasha.

Sokullu: I was born in the Bosnian town of Sokolac in 1506, as you Christians reckon it. When I was ten years old, I was taken by the devshirme, the Padishah's levy of Christian youth from the Balkans. "Christian" for a certain value of Christian, given the pagan superstitions still prevalent at the time. I was introduced to the true worship of God soon enough.

Me: So how did you become grand vizier?

Sokullu: It took a long time. By 1541, I was Imperial Chamberlain and overseer of the squires of Padishah Suleiman, who taught me a great deal. After serving him in peace and in war, I became third vizier in 1555. That year did not start out well--I had to quell a rebellion by some lowlife pretending to be one of the Padishah's sons--but my brother from Bosnia did visit me and I made some improvements to the Orthodox Church in the area. I became second vizier in 1561 and the Padishah honored me greatly with a marriage to his granddaughter. In 1565, I became the grand vizier. That year began the war with the Hapsburgs, the war in which the Padishah died.

Me: Suleiman?

Sokullu: Yes. It was at a most inconvenient time, so I had to permanently silence the witnesses. It was not until over a month later that I formally announced his death.

Me: Why?

Sokullu: When an Imperial prince becomes a new sultan, he typically puts his brothers and half-brothers to death. The bowstring, to avoid spilling royal blood. That provides an unfortunate incentive for the other sons of the sultan to contest the succession. In the worst case, you end up with something like the Interregnum in which several sons of the Padishah fought for power. Better a few sons of royal blood get the bowstring than thousands die on the battlefield. Power comes at a price.

Me: Perhaps the sultan shouldn't father so many children.

Sokullu: And risk the spread of rumor that he is impotent? That would invite a challenge to his authority. If the Padishah favors a particular son, he will place him in a position where he can easily take the throne. This gives his sons incentive to work hard, to earn his favor. Enough of this subject.

Me: So you ensured Selim became the new emperor?

(Sokullu nods)

Sokullu: I did, although it was a rather touch-and-go process. Everyone was demanding favors, higher wages and the like. Eventually I tired of their insolence and broke some heads.

Me: How has the Empire fared since then?

Sokullu: For the most part well. The Padishah gives me a great deal of latitude to ensure the stability of the Sublime State and the victories of its armies. Unfortunately, the Latin states have recently inflicted on us a fairly substantial bloody nose, something it has taken a great expenditure of resources to repair.

Me: You're referring to the Battle of Lepanto?

(Sokullu smiles)

Sokullu: The very one. We just finished replacing all the ships lost in the engagement. Replacing the experienced sailors lost will be harder still. And the spice trade is beginning to pass from the land routes we control to the sea routes the Latin states dominate, which is threatening our tax revenue. Dealing with the situation may require...drastic measures.

Me: What sort of drastic measures?

(Sokullu tents his fingers)

Sokullu: One of my agents has recently made a suggestion I've found very interesting. I will look into it further.

Want to see what Sokullu's "drastic measures" entail? If so, check out "The Beast of the Bosporus."

Financial Advice: Go Wholesale

The other day, I decided to do some comparison shopping, comparing the new Wal Mart groceries-only store I often shop at due to its low prices and physical proximity and the local CostCo. I bought some items I needed at the CostCo after working out at the gym across the street and then swung by the Wal Mart to get some fruit and compare the prices.

On the way to the Wal Mart is the QuikTrip where I often get gas. It was $3.15 per gallon there, but at the CostCo, it was $2.80 per gallon. If I save around $0.30/gallon (the difference isn't always the same) and I generally get 12-13 gallons of gas at a time, this saves $3.60 to $3.90 per tank. Over the course of a year, assuming I get gas around once per week, this would save $187-200. Considering a CostCo membership is  $55 per year, this would pay for itself massively. Even if the difference is only $0.10 per gallon, that's $60-70ish per year--still a net profit.

Once actually at the Wal Mart, I compared the cost of a gallon of one percent milk (the kind I usually get) to the cost of the two percent milk I got at CostCo. The CostCo milk was around $1 cheaper per gallon. If I consume a gallon of milk every two weeks, that saves me $25 per year.

I also compared the price of ice cream, which at the Wal Mart was $3 for 1.75 quarts but approximately $10 for two half-gallons sold together at CostCo. I busted out my calculator and found that at Wal Mart rates, it would be $13 for a full gallon of ice cream. I purchase ice cream much less often so I cannot calculate how much I'd save per year, but considering how I sometimes accompany cereal with raisins and bananas with a homemade milkshake for additional protein and fat (so I don't get hungry too fast during the day), it's probably a bit of money.

I didn't join CostCo until I'd been up on the Northside for awhile, probably more than a year since I took the new job. Before, when I lived on the Southside, I would periodically take advantage of the free month or two deals at the BJ's in McDonough. However, that was mostly to get the Tyson chicken fingers that only wholesalers seem to carry and the huge cinnamon muffins, with gas being an afterthought. I'd thought that since I was a single person, I simply wouldn't consume enough to make it worth the yearly membership fee. I had friends who were the first to make the leap into wholesale membership, but considering how it was two roommates and later one's eventual wife sharing a membership, I figured they'd eat enough to make it worthwhile.

In retrospect, that was a mistake. I don't remember the gas at BJ's being that much cheaper than elsewhere, but as my earlier example reveals, a $0.10 difference can be a substantial difference per year. BJ's membership is $50/year, so $60-70 would be a net profit, even if it would be only enough to see a movie or two.

So this is my advice to you, dear reader. Even if you're single, if you live a convenient distance from a wholesale club that has a gas station attached, get a membership. It might require revamping your shopping habits a bit (in my case, that means getting stuff that goes bad fast on separate trips), but even a little savings will add up. I didn't, and it probably cost me a few hundred bucks.

A Thanksgiving Tree and the Virtue of Gratitude

On Facebook today, my friend Caitlin posted this picture:

It's a "thankful tree." If you look closely at it, you can see things like "music" and "Jesus." I imagine these are things members of Caitlin's family are particularly thankful for.

Something like this is a very good idea, for many reasons.

Firstly, Christmas has burst the bonds of December and expanded all the way to the day after Halloween, as satirized by one of the Simpsons Halloween episodes I saw many years ago. I remember when I was a kid seeing Thanksgiving decorations in a store (I think it was the East Cobb K-Mart, which is now a Sears), but that might have been over twenty years ago. More recently, I was shopping for a Halloween costume and saw Santa stuff in the Wal Mart. That's absurd. Halloween is October's big holiday, Thanksgiving is November's, and Christmas (or Hanukkah, if applicable) is December's.

Secondly, gratitude is a virtue many people have forgotten. Much of the election campaign hinged on complaining about our unemployment rate, which is significantly lower than countries like Spain, Greece, and to a lesser degree France. Even if one doubles it based on the idea those who have given up looking for work aren't being counted, we're still better off than Spain and Greece.

(This is not heartless sniping at the unemployed. I know from personal experience how much being unemployed sucks. My point is that we need to keep things in perspective. Look at how bad things were during the Great Depression.)

One common expression in the United States is, "God bless America," never mind that by any objective standard, God has blessed America to a rather massive degree in terms of both material wealth and personal freedom and we really ought to be thanking Him for the billions of blessings we enjoy.

(You don't have to be a Christian or even a believer in any kind of active God to believe gratitude is a good thing. Someone who is demanding and never satisfied is going to have a much more problematic life than someone more inclined to contentment and gratitude. And they're going to be much, much more annoying, like Eric Cartman. And on both an individual and a national level, it leads to living beyond one's means and the resulting problems.)

Practicing a tradition like a "thankful tree" serves two purposes. Firstly, it provides a visible marker of the Thanksgiving holiday and serves as a stand, however humble, against the overreach of Christmas. Secondly, it's an exercise in remembering all one's many blessings.

Need An Artist? Help A Friend Out...

Today I'm asking you all for help. Not for me, but for one of my writing-group friends. She lost her job a few months ago (I think she worked for Georgia Perimeter College and was one of the people cut when the shortfall hit) and is running low on funds. As in, "homeless within a month" low on funds.

Adrienne is an artist and I've commissioned her to do a cover for my soon-to-be-Kindle-published short story "Illegal Alien." Here is a Facebook gallery of her work. I think you need to be logged into Facebook in order to see it. One reason I chose her is I liked the Native American Elf guy and figured something in a similar style would be useful.

(One reason self-published works don't do well is because they have abysmal cover art. I'm trying to avoid that even if it costs me some money in the short term.)

If you see a need for her work in any capacity--a book cover, a picture of a friend or relative, etc.--give her a whistle.

Blast from the Past Movie Review: "Godzilla" (1998)

Last February, I promised my readers that I'd dig up some movies I saw years ago and see how they've held up over the years. After listening to the podcast How Did This Get Made, which my friend Nick got me interested in, I decided on the 1998 remake of Godzilla starring Matthew Broderick. I saw the movie in theaters, which meant it was the summer before I started eighth grade.

EDIT 10/4/2018: The podcast Myopia: Defend Your Childhood did an episode on it in which I participated. Here's the podcast link. And here are some further thoughts.

Now back to the actual review...

The Good

*Firstly, I liked how they updated the film to reference current events. The original Godzilla was made within a decade of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and was one of the first movies to take into account the fear of nuclear weapons and nuclear technology in general. This film references the controversial French nuclear tests in the 1990s, coming out in theaters two-odd years after the last test took place.

*The film's opening hints that Godzilla was descended from either Komodo monitors or marine iguanas affected by the French nuclear testing. Its design reflects this--although it's primarily bipedal, its forelimbs are fairly long and we do see it moving about on all fours. It also swims like a marine iguana.

*In addition to nuclear testing, the film also touched on issues like the glass ceiling and sexual harassment. The journalism career of female lead Audrey Timmonds (Maria Pitillo) is being hampered by her slimy boss who makes her get his groceries, implicitly offers to trade career advancement for sex despite being married, tells her to go away and leave the "big boys" to do their work, and steals credit for a story she put together revealing the origin of Godzilla. This serves as a motivator for some of Audrey's less than stellar actions.

*Despite being 14 years old, the special effects have mostly held up well as far as Godzilla himself is concerned. There are some moments that have a distinctly computer-generated look to them, but most of the time it still works.

*Godzilla's death is rather sad, even though he obviously needs to be put down.

*There are some pretty amusing moments throughout the film, including "Mayor Ebert" and his assistant "Gene." According to How Did This Get Made, movie critics Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel didn't like Independence Day very much and this was Roland Emmerich's and Dean Devlin's revenge. In particular, "Mayor Ebert" isn't portrayed very well. And then there's the clever and comical way Nick deals with pursuing baby Godzillas in Madison Square Garden.

*Although the concept of the baby Godzillas has been mocked as an attempt to rip off the Jurassic Park raptors, I found them entertaining. Godzilla has been depicted as having offspring before (Son of Godzilla), but let's just say Minya isn't exactly threatening.

*Finally, someone gives the French, in particular their intelligence services, the credit they're due.

The Bad

*Dr. Nick Tatopoulos (Matthew Broderick) refers to Godzilla as being a hybrid despite knowing almost nothing about him other than some samples he picked up in Panama. Although scientists aren't immune from jumping the gun (see the cold fusion episode in 1989), I would think a biologist like Nick would be a bit more prudent about hypothesizing without evidence.

*The "we need bigger guns" line was just obnoxiously bad. If they were trying to be funny by riffing on Jaws' legendary "we're going to need a bigger boat" line, it wasn't funny. It was just annoying and came off as uncreative.

*The movie started to drag in the middle, before the hunt for Godzilla's nest gets going. I imagine focusing on Audrey's journalism career and her relationship with Nick was intended to make us care about the characters, but it was rather slow.

*When they send the submarines after Godzilla in the ocean, the officers and crew are wearing hats marked "SSBN" and including the ship names. That acronym is used for ballistic missile submarines. Although I imagine in the event of something like this the military would simply grab the nearest submarines and send them into action, that role would be more appropriate for a nuclear attack submarine.

*The special effects for the baby Godzillas in Madison Square Garden have not held up well. They're pretty obviously CGI.

The Verdict

Not bad, but a bit long. 7.5 out of 10.

"World War Z" First Look Footage

Here's a clip I just found online. Entertainment Tonight will be having a "first look" at Brad Pitt's upcoming adaptation of World War Z




They move awfully fast for zombies. The first verb that came to mind describing how they move is "boiling."

Gary Johnson: What I Like

The other day, I said I would post what I did like about Gary Johnson, the presidential candidate I did vote for, rather than what I didn't like about Mitt Romney and Barack Obama.

It took longer than I intended, but as Horton the Elephant said, "I meant what I said and I said what I meant." So here goes...

*Civil Liberties-This is the absolute biggie. Our nation, from its very beginning, has emphasized the personal freedom of its citizens. In the aftermath of 9/11, various "anti-terrorist" measures jeopardized those freedoms our Founding Fathers fought so hard to attain, freedoms protected and expanded by the hard work and sacrifice of those who came later. The federal government has used its police powers to demand library reading records without a judicial warrant and detained an American citizen without trial. Although some of the most dangerous provisions have been recently struck down, others remain in place and the parts that were ruled unconstitutional might still return, as the Obama Administration has appealed. Johnson said he would not have signed the Patriot Act and the later National Defense Authorization Act that have threatened American liberties.

What good is defeating the Islamists of al-Qaeda whose demands go beyond the U.S. not having bases in the land of Mecca and Medina, all the way to demanding we convert to Islam and abolish separation of church and state if we end up becoming a police state at home?

*Free Trade-At different points in the past, I have praised Obama for supporting free-trade agreements with other nations like South Korea, Panama, and Colombia. I read a book in high school entitled The End of Globalization: Lessons from the Great Depression about the Great Depression and how tariff walls and despotic autarkic regimes like the fascists and Nazis made things worse. There's an adage, "If goods don't cross borders, armies will" and although that doesn't always hold true (people thought the First World War was impossible due to intra-European trading relationships), economic integration has contributed to the cooling of tensions between the United States and China that led to war scares in the late 1990s and things like the capture of a U.S. spy plane by the Chinese early in the Bush presidency. Johnson has strongly committed to free trade.

*Foreign Policy-To be perfectly blunt, war sucks. War is evil. War is dead men (and women), or mangled men and women whose lives will be diminished forever afterward. War is broken families. War is burned houses and cities. War destroys rather than creates. I shed no tears for Saddam Hussein and his two evil sons, but the cost to the United States of the Iraq adventure has been enormous, in terms of money, lives, and America's strategic position.

I am not so naive as to believe the outcome of beating our swords into plowshares will lead to anything but us plowing for those who don't, but that doesn't mean we should go looking for trouble. Bin Laden is dead and the Cold War is over and an interventionist foreign policy is something we are increasingly unable to afford.  It's time to re-evaluate our foreign policy priorities. Full-blown withdrawal from everywhere in the world is not practical--for starters, the U.S. Navy guarantees freedom of the seas for all countries--but there are plenty of areas where cuts can be made that leave us strong enough to deal with legitimate threats. Gary Johnson has explicitly stated he is not interested in picking a fight with Iran, which could turn into a bloodbath and strategic disaster.

*The War on Drugs-Let the record state I do not use any recreational pharmaceuticals. In fact, I do not even drink alcohol or coffee. However, the Drug War has jeopardized Americans' freedoms in various ways (asset forfeiture abuses are a biggie) and cost vast amounts of money. Drug arrests often set otherwise-harmless people on the road to becoming hard-core criminals. Prohibition of alcohol failed; why would doing the same for, say, marijuana, be any better? Johnson has advocated legalizing, regulating, and taxing currently-illegal narcotics. Legalizing and taxing marijuana would save billions of dollars and generate billions more in tax revenue.

I could post some more, but I have some more urgent projects I need to work on. Don't forget to vote tomorrow, or today if the lines aren't too long.

First NaNoWriMo Update

Now begins Day Five of National Novel-Writing Month and I will update you with my progress, or lack thereof.

In the first four days, I wrote a grand total of 1,956 words. In and of itself, that's not a bad thing--except in order to meet the "50,000 words in a month" challenge of NaNoWriMo, I would need to write just under 1,700 words per day. This means I should have written 6,700 words so far. In order to be on-track for five days in, I would need to write in the neighborhood of 8,400 words today.

(I have some legitimate justifications here, but excuses buy no yams. I'm still very behind. Meanwhile, I have a friend who is not only meeting his goals, he is actually exceeding them.)

At this rate, I do not think I will be able to make the 50,000 word count. I am not giving up five days into the project--I will still try to write a lot more on what will hopefully be my second completed original novel (and an easier sale, since it will probably be shorter than my first). However, I am being realistic.

On the bright side, those 1,956 words have been rather useful. The first chapter is now complete and I've made significant progress on the second and third. I have committed to bring something to my Lawrenceville writing group for the 11/18 meeting. Since the deadline to submit something is 11/11, I might be able to bring the first three "real" chapters (as opposed to the prologue, which consists of a bunch of future news articles for world-building purposes) before the writing group.

Do novel titles count toward the word count goal? Several thousand words in, and I still don't have a title.

To NaNoWriMo or Not NaNoWriMo?

The other day on Facebook, my friend Lauren Patrick posted a general call-out to several of her writer friends (me included) about whether we would be participating in National Novel-Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for short. The gist of it is to write 50,000 words in a month. That's a complete novel by some people's metrics, albeit a bit on the short side.

I am seriously considering participating. While I wait to hear back from the first publisher I sent Battle for the Wastelands, my friend James R.Tuck from my Kennesaw writing group recommended that I work on an entirely new project. He said once he wrote the first Deacon Chalk novel Blood and Bullets, he sent it out to agents and publishers and worked on other stuff in the meantime. It wouldn't do to spend all that time writing a sequel and not be able to sell the first novel.

So I started pondering a new project, born out of thoughts I had on how the Star Trek canon could have gone differently. And so a new space opera came to be, a world born of electric cars and fusion power freeing the U.S. from dependence on Middle Eastern oil, of European unification and the fall of Pakistan, and the genetic engineering of humans came. Now the human realm is divided between five Great Powers, all of whom have nuclear and antimatter weapons, spacecraft using inertial confinement fusion, and offworld colonies. It is in that world that a prototype antimatter-propelled spacecraft is lost and an American warship races an Indian one to retrieve it.

(It's much, MUCH more "hard sci fi" than Star Trek will ever be, and it's not nearly as utopian.)

Battle for the Wastelands is 104,000 words long and took me one to two years to write most of it. 104,000 words is a little long for a first novel. Blood and Bullets is around 80,000 words long, as was Wicked as They Come,the debut novel of Delilah S. Dawson. Meanwhile, The Shifter, the debut novel of Janice Hardy, was 70,000 words. My new project, which doesn't yet have a title, would probably be this length if not somewhat shorter.

I told James the other day that if I made Escape from the Wastelands my NaNoWriMo project, I could write 50,000 words and still have a lot more to do. However, if I did my new project instead, I could, if not actually finish it, be pretty darn close. And a shorter novel would be an easier sell than a longer one.

And now that I've described the project in extensive detail on a well-traveled blog, that means I need to get started pronto, lest someone else steal the idea.

To NaNoWriMo! Let's hope I have time!

Disney, Star Wars, and An Idea for the "Sequel Trilogy"

I heard earlier today that Disney is buying LucasFilm and production on a new Star Wars movie, the beginning of a new trilogy, has begun. Although some people are skeptical of the project, given how Disney was ultimately behind the awesomeness that was The Avengers,I think this could go in some really good directions.

In particular, I'm hoping they adapt Timothy Zahn's Thrawn trilogy--Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising,and The Last Command. The three books are especially beloved by the Star Wars fan community, which has oftentimes been greatly disappointed by the things Lucas has done to the SW universe.

Furthermore, the Thrawn trilogy has elements that would make it very attractive to the general audiences who loved the original films (and the prequels).

*We have Grand Admiral Thrawn as a powerful and threatening, but not wholly evil, villain. He's a man (sort of) who rose to a position of high honor and respect in Palpatine's Empire despite Palpatine's anti-alien racism and was entrusted with the Empire's continued military expansion in the outer regions of the galaxy while Palpatine and Vader ruled at home. He's someone who could provoke the same fascination/admiration that Vader did, and pose the same threat to our heroes.

*And we also have Joruus C'Boath, an insane Dark Jedi clone of a Jedi Master of the Old Republic, who can provide a Force-using villain and an opponent for Luke to have lightsaber duels with. He can also serve as a spiritual threat, much like how Vader and Palpatine were to Luke--his price for aiding Thrawn was that he would be given Luke Skywalker, the Princess Leia, and Han and Leia's two children to "mold."

*We have Mara Jade as a love interest for Luke, who never had one in the movies (except for Leia, who it turned out was his long-lost twin sister). Mara Jade was one of the Emperor's Hands, elite Dark Side-wielding assassins, and the last command she received from the dying Palpatine (this was via the Force) was to kill Luke Skywalker. This gnaws at her the entire trilogy, and leads to questions of loyalty. Character conflict is interesting too. :)

*It's set a decade after the original trilogy, much like how the prequels were set 20-30 years earlier. We'll get to see how Luke is reconstituting the Jedi Order and how Leia is putting together a New Republic. We can throw in other stuff, like how Han and Leia married and how the various warlords who emerged from the Empire's collapse were dealt with, as back-story.

Other than the fact there's a new trilogy coming, nothing has been announced. I'll keep everyone posted on what I hear.